Oh, I Forgot To Tell You...

So, let's recap:
* Created budget and used the auto loan calculator to find out how much you can afford.
* Researched vehicles on sites such as Kelley Blue Book and Edmunds, and found the car you want.
* Emailed multiple dealers and made them haggle the price amongst themselves OR went to the dealer and played hardball yourself.
* Bled these suckers dry and a)got the car you wanted and b)at the price you can afford.

Time to shake hands and sign the dotted line, right? Like Lee Corso says, "Not so fast my friends." Guess what you have? A trade in! Now, if you don't have a trade in, Please go ahead and sign the dotted line (but remember to read my other sections before you do!). I'm sure the dealer has asked about a trade-in sometime during the negotiation, but there is a reason you held out. That reason? Because you are trying to get the absolute lowest price and by introducing a trade in, you take away from your negotiating power.

Now, just like you researched your new car, I hope you took the time to research your current car. You should have the several price quotes from Edmunds, including trade-in and private party value. Since I traded in a Piece of Sh--, my ability to haggle was limited. I did increase the value from $250 to $350, so there is some negotiating. For a trade in, you are reversing roles with the dealer. The hunter has now become the hunted. You are now trying to milk these fools for as much cash as you can. The amount for your car should be somewhere above trade-in and closer to the dealer price. This price is usually the private party, so I wouldn't take less than that. Remember, since you have the power, you are in complete control. You don't have to give them your old car. You might be able to get more money selling it on Ebay Motors or putting a sign on it.

Now what if your payments are still too high, but you know this is the car for you for the next 8-10 years. Getting a car lease is the answer. This is another stick it to the dealer maneuver because a lease is all based on the purchase price. Well, most people just think they work off of the sticker price for a lease. These people are idiots. They are the same ones who believe a Honda dealership gets those 50 Civic EX's on the lot for invoice cost. With a lease you pretty much eat the loss a normal owner would take on when purchasing. Since your working with the agreed purchase price and a predetermined residual value (usually @50% of the value), your monthly payment can drop significantly. You do have to be careful, because mileage becomes a huge factor. If you know this is the car for you, don't worry about it. Drive the car like you own it, and know that at the end of the lease you can purchase/refinance the car at the residual value. However, if you have a long commute like me (15k a year just work miles), you will get hit with a huge penalty for going over the miles. Charges are typically $.15 a mile which adds up fast. You should know by now you can haggle just about anything. If you need 15k miles and they are offering 12k, work some more of your magic. Just be firm with any answer you give - "I'm not paying that" "you must be kidding" "Why don't you want to get this deal made?" are all acceptable responses.

Next up: "You Are A New Car Owner!"

I'm Not Going To Pay A Lot For This Muffler!

Now, I hope you took my advice before and did some research. What I failed to mention (at least I think so anyway) is the most important item to know upside down and inside out: Your personal finances! There are tons of sites that have calculators to help you figure out what you can afford. One of my favorites sites is bankrate.com. Their auto loan calculator does the trick. My only problem with it is the term of the loan only goes to 60 months. Either way, run through the program a few times and play with the numbers. If you already have a budget, it should be pretty simple to find out your magical monthly payment. DON'T FORGET: new cars cost more in property tax and most likely insurance, and if it's a fine German auto - higher octane gas and maintenance. Get quotes from your agent. That Audi TT would be nice, but I'd hate to pay the premiums for it, not to mention the oil change. Be sure to adjust for these variables.

**I'm transitioning the story from online buying to dealership buying since that's what I ended up doing. You can still follow this tactic, either by email or by calling the salesman.

Okay, so You know how much you can pay a month and how much car you can afford. Now, I'm almost positive your number is way below what the dealer offered. Now, if what you can afford is below invoice or close to it, let them know. Don't be scared, just tell them "This is how much I can pay for the car." You can try and offer below your threshold if you want to play the back and forth game. Myself, I just say take it or leave it. Since we don't need a car today, feel free to get up and leave. One of these days your needs and the dealer's will meet. Most of the time they'll say "let me see what I can do." And five minutes later they come back with a number well above your threshold. Comments like "Why don't you want to sell me a car?" or something of that nature is my response to these offers. "I told you this is my max, and you ignored me. I don't have time for this - goodbye." This tactic is really good especially if you are only a few hundred off the mark. Hopefully if you have been at the dealership long enough they will surrender to your stubbornness.

If at anytime you feel pressured or lost your composure, excuse yourself. Tell them you have to use the bathroom, or make a call. If you are on the phone with them, call them back. They leave you to sweat you out, so return the favor! Regain control, remember you have the power, and go back out there with the determination that you are not going to pay a lot for this muffler!

Remember, "invoice" is a deceptive term. Dealers with 30 of the same car on the lot don't pay invoice. That's like buying a box of golf balls individually instead of together. How much below invoice they get these cars for, I don't know. I do think that if you can buy a car below or at invoice, you have been a total success.

Next topic: "Oh, I forgot to tell you..."

What Am I An Idiot?

(Is it wrong I'm getting bored with this topic? I have 20 other things i want to talk about, but I want to keep this series intact)

So, you've got mail. The salesman comes back with an incredible "reduced internet" pricing that is about 1k less than sticker and much higher than invoice. There are several ways to approach this. Myself, I prefer to be an ass. If you have already gotten a lower offer, let them know. If you haven't, lie. Why? because they lie to you. You ask for a solid price, and they treat you like an idiot. My reply was something like this:

"That offer is pitiful. I have already received a a better offer of [insert a price above the invoice value and below the quoted price {make it an odd #}]. If you can't do any better I will take my business elsewhere."

More than likely you'll get a matching offer or something lower. Now take this offer and send it to the other dealers. See where this is going? Get these guys to haggle between themselves and not you. Hopefully you'll get someone desperate for a sale to bite.

If you are at the dealership, you can still play the internet card. Tell the salesman you were quoted online but you don't remember the exact price. More than likely they'll start you off at this price (which you already know is weak). Feel free to tell them that the offer is far from the number you envisioned. Remember, you have the power! Feel free to use my favorite tactic "Obviously you aren't looking for a sale today" and walk away. You'd be suprised how fast that price drops.

Next installment: I'm Not Going To Pay A Lot For This Muffler!

Technology is Your Best Asset

Almost every dealer has an internet sales division. The best part about these people is that you never have to meet them. You could realistically buy a car and never have to look these people in the eye. Now, I emailed the 3 dealers in the area and told them exactly what I was interested in. I only got 2 responses, 1 good, 1 bad. To make a long story short, I actually called the sales manager and he refused to negotiate a price. I gave him a (fake) quoted price and he wouldn't match it. I was shocked. It turned out that my fake price was actually only $20 off the real quote I received the next day. But can you believe he wouldn't even price match? Come to find out, this is a really good time for dealers with all the tax rebates coming in.

I'm getting away from the point, which is email or fax these dealers. Let them know exactly what you want. The email should be something to this effect:

"I'm looking to purchase a {insert year, make, model, style] with [insert extra features like mudguards]. I prefer the color to be [insert color] with a [insert color] interior. I will be buying a car in [insert # of days,week, month] . I only want to be contacted by email.”

You should get a response in a day or less. Now, after you get a response, don't let them try and upsell you. Remember - you know what you want! You already did the research and are ready to get the vehicle of your dreams (or budget!).

Next segment: What am I an Idiot?

Cruise Control Costs How Much?

Okay, so now you know that only idiots pay sticker price. Sticker price is for Saturns, Scions, and stupid SOB's. So, how much should you pay? Well, Since you took my previous advice, you already know what others are paying. A good place to start is pay less than that! I'll be honest - I got my '05 Accord LX for $18850. They gave me $350 for my 86 Mazda 626 (I'll discuss trade-ins later) which got my final bill to 18500. That was the out the door price. Tax, title, tag, blah, blah, blah was included. Now, that alone would have been an extra grand plus. Now, Edmunds told me people are paying $19,645 and that's not including the 3 T's. So, based on these numbers, I payed $2000 less than others. That's roughly 10%. I'm sure others have gotten a better deal, but I think it's great.

Dig through these sites, find out how much those fog lights cost, or if a cargo net is really worth $56. Honda add ons weren't available through Edmunds, but you can get price quotes through the build and quote page. Find out if it's really worth getting that sports package when all you want are the wheel upgrades and nifty gear shift.

Next Topic: Technology is Your Best Asset

***Writer's Note: I picked up the car today at lunch. I'm pretty happy about it. I'm still getting used to that new car smell and the fact I have a car radio. The only thing I need for it now are some Wal-Mart Spinners and the Crown Air Freshener. Thankfully my first payment isn't until next month, so I can pretend for the time being that I still have money.

Finally I Own a Car From This Decade!

So, I just bought a new car. It's my first new car purchase, and I'm
pretty excited about it. I went the safe way and bought a Honda. After
hassling a few dealers online about a Civic, I went with the Accord. Now,
I spent a lot of time researching cars, finding out how to negotiate,
figuring out the true price, etc (Thank you Edmunds). Well, I'm
pretty sure I got a good deal, and I'd like to share a few things I
learned both before and after my car. Although I'll be mentioning used
cars, this is more or less about buying from a dealer. Since I'm pressed for time this week, I'm going to split my story up. Enjoy part one!

.

And Knowing is Half The Battle

First off, You have the power. Don't be intimidated by dealers. There is
so much information out there for potential buyers, whether it's new or
used. Only a fool walks onto a car lot without some type of knowledge
about the vehicles. Check out Edmunds, they have tons of
information about every car out there. MSRP, Invoice, even what others
are paying, they have it all. You can even compare similiar cars all on
the same page. Also check out the manufacturer's web sites. there is
usually more information you can get and you can even "build" your
vehicle. Don't forget to also check out Kelley Blue Book, and any other source of information, such as Consumer Report.

Coming up next, "Cruise Control Costs How Much?"

The Greatest Birthday Gift Ever

So, I got the best gift ever yesterday. No, it wasn't the free tickets to the UNC game. This gift came from my County's Sheriff. Give up? I got a jury summons! That's right. Now, I know most of you are saying to yourself "self, this guy is an idiot." Well, that could be true. I however think this is a great opportunity. I'm not due until St. Patty's day, and there is a chance I won't be needed. Not only do I get to miss work, I'll get a whopping $12 for my civic duty!

Now, when I originally got the summons, I was pissed. I kept thinking of all the ways to get out of it. The best ideas I came up with was to bring a copy of the Wall Street Journal and answer questions like "they look guilty" or "I'm in favor of public execution." Surely no lawyer would want someone who is educated and have such strong viewpoints.

I then started to think of the benefits of jury duty. What if I get on a really good case? I love Law & Order, I like the judicial system and would love to get the opportunity to see it work. Now, I know the system isn't perfect, but to be a part of it would be pretty cool.

A good friend of mine had jury duty a few months ago and she was on one hell of a case. To make a long story short, it was a medical malpractice involving a young child. It was very emotional for her, and I know she was having bad dreams during and after the trial. After hearing about the trial, I would have taken the bad dreams in order to be a part of the process.

Like I said, I'm not due in court till March 17th, so if anything changes I'll be sure to post something!

Free White Castle Burgers

http://www.whitecastle.com/_pages/offer.asp Passcode is AlWAYS OPEN.

Damn me for living in the South and not being able to get WC. There isn't even the cheap knock-off version Crystal close by.

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY

WOO HOO! and to celebrate, I get to go the UNC/UVA game tonight. Less than 3 hours till the Heels put a class A asskickin on the Cavs.

Irrefutable Arguments: Ha-Ha-Hockey

Great article by my buddy Mark about Hockey (or the lack of it).

Irrefutable Arguments: Ha-Ha-Hockey

Privatization of Social Security - A Response to the Critics

Social Security (SS) gets a return of 1%. Chile turned to a privatized SS system back in 1981 (or was it 85?). Anyway, they realized a return of 10%. To me, that sounds pretty damn good.

ING Direct gives me 2.35% right now in a savings account..FREE!! SS, still that great 1% return. I think it's a crime I am forced to save money at an inferior rate of return, especially when my return will most likely be ZERO.

When you look at even the most conservative of investments (mutual funds), your SS balance would have grown at an amazing rate even if you just invested in an index fund.

The privatization plan isn't laid out for HUGE corporations to make money - it's so everyone can make money. Ever looked at the pension plan that these senators have? It's the exact thing that Bush is trying to do with SS. How come this system is good enough for politicians, but not for the American public? The answer is simple: because if these funds were put into the hands of the people who actually earned their money, then the politicians wouldn't be able to waste it on expensive, failing, and inefficient programs.

Bush stated that the elderly don't have to worry about SS - The money is there and will be there for them. It is us, the young people who will be the ones that suffer. The problem is staring at us, and if we don't make decisions in the near future, the complaining won't be about privatization but will be "where's my money?"

Being able to redistribute this money back into the economy can only help encourage growth and economic expansion. Another thing to consider is that I'm almost positive what is being discussed is the ability to never lose what you put in, essentially making it risk-free.

As for me personally, I don't think about SS too much. I have my own investment for retirement and if i'm lucky, i'll light my cuban cigars with the SS checks the gov't sends me. SS was never meant to be a retirement meal ticket, yet alot of people think the government is responsible to making sure everyone gets surf and turf for dinner. Take control of your own life and stop looking for handouts.

Cheer Sheets and the Stupidity of the Masses

As I stated in my first post, I'm a huge UNC fan. The great thing that comes with being a Heels fan is you are automatically included into the "I hate dook" club. Now, the big game is tomorrow, when the #2 ranked Heels visit the rundown concrete gymnasium known as Cameron and play #8 Dook. I'm sure the "Cameron Crazies" will be ready with cheer sheets and intimidating hand shaking. I don't know who will be officiating, but if Carl Hess is in the building look for the tiny space between his whistle and Coach K(ay)'s ass.

Now, I will say that Dook has taken to beating the Heels lately (14 out of last 16 including tourney play). Now how times have changed. New Coach, 2nd year in the system, and seasoned players are destined to turn the victories back to Chapel Hill. The game plan for the Heels should be simple - attack "She" Williams. Get that gang rapist in foul trouble, and the dookies will be exposed. I really don't think ol' Roy has put too much thought into Shav Randolph, even though his ability to foul more than he scores is quite impressive for such a highly recruited player. Dockery and Ewing can be contained, and we know what happens to dopeman Redick when Jackie Manuel gets him defensively. "But Lee Melchionni has stepped up big this year - don't overlook him." Please. I can't wait to see him get worked on both ends of the court.

The Truth about Duke is a great source to catch up on all the bullshit and real news involving K(ay) and his "pristine" program. I'm sure it will be updated with news of the upcoming game, but for now if you haven't heard about the dook cheer sheets being infiltrated by Maryland fans, check it out here. So, in honor of these great fans, i'd like to create my own cheer sheet for the dookies.

Cheer Sheet Dook vs. UNC February 9, 2005

• Felton is averaging over 7 assists a game. Meanwhile our D. Ew is getting 4! The chant after a Ewing assist will be "HE'S HALF WAY THERE."
• UNC is in sole possession of 1st place in the ACC. If we win this game we will be in first. If Carl Hess's check clears in time, the closing seconds of the game we will wiggle our hands at the Tar Heel bench and proclaim "WE'RE NUMBER ONE TILL WE LOSE TO MARYLAND"
• Our Beloved JJ is behind 4 Tar Heels in 3pt Shooting Percentage and behind the entire UNC team as well. After every made three, we must scream "WE THINK HE CAN WE THINK HE CAN" On a Tar Heel miss, proclaim "YOU MISS WE SWISH"
• Marvin Williams is a Freshman, and he's never played here. Now, even though he's 3rd in the ACC in free throws, we must make sure to make a solid statement against him. All students sitting behind the goals need to paint their faces (see attached color by number guide) and chant "NUMBER THREE"
• Rumor has it that Coach Roy looks like a rat when the other coach is talking to an official. When our beloved Coach K(ay) is yelling at the refs, we must sound of with "RAT FACE" This will confuse Roy and force him to ignore the obvious bullying of the zebras.
• When we lose, and let's face it we will, we must stay proud. However, that must not stop us from chanting "WE GOT NEXT" followed by the traditional 5 claps. This will remind the Heels that they have to play us again at the Dean Dome where they have yet to lose this year.

THIS CHEER SHEET IS TOP SECRET!! WE MUST NOT LET IT GET IN THE HANDS OF THE ENEMY.

That was fun. I can't wait for the line for this game to come out tomorrow. I might have to empty my 401k on the heels if it's anything less than -5.

**You Stuck Evan

Ever wish your day was a video game? Lately I've been having this daydream that I was living in some weirdly criss-crossed universe with the game Halo 2. This obsession might be stemmed from the fact that for the past couple months I spend my entire lunch hour playing at my good friend Evan's house. It's a great break from the workday, and up until recently I was semi descent at the game. However, my happiness level drops to about a -15 on a scale of 1-10 when I actually have to go back to the grind.

Now, if only there was someway to turn my workplace into a game of Halo, the days would go by so much better. Armed with my sub machine gun and magnum (my favorite weapon combo) and a full load of fragment and plasma grenades, I'd be ready for a full day of work. Now, before I continue, this isn't some Whacked out Columbine plan where I'm actually going to freak out and rampage my office. You see, the good thing about Halo is you come back to life after a few seconds. I wish nobody harm at my job because I love it there - I'd just like to stick a plasma grenade upside some coworkers' heads every now and then. 3 seconds later, their head would explode, body would go into convulsions, and that wonderful phrase would pop up "*You stuck {insert name}." Usually on Fridays there is a big Nerf Gun war in the office, so I just live the fantasy through that. I scored a Melee last week.

Now, I haven't really thought out what constitutes a workHalo kill, but stupidity ranks up there at the top. People who talk to me like i'm three would be the first to go. Sometimes I'd just throw a grenade across the office to see who I could get. The setup of the office would make for some tough grenade shots. there isn't much of a sniper spot, so I probably wouldn't get a medal for that. The one medal I'd like to get is "Assassin." It only has a difficulty factor of 2, but I'd love to register the covented "You assassinated GuyWhoWipesBoogersOnTheUrinalWall." Other easy medals to get a work would be the Double and Triple kill (stupidity in numbers), and the Roadkill (our office scooters can reak havoc).

Well, that's enough of my healthy obsession with reality and video games. I'm sure I could write page after page talking about The Sims, Civilization, and all these sports games that let you personalize your character.

I'd like to thank my good friend Evan (co-creator of the highly successful PartyEastCarolina and PartyInCollege network of sites) for contributing the idea of bringing Halo to the workplace and allowing me to vent on his xbox.

I'd also like to point out the new blog my friend Mark just started. He took the time and effort to leech my first post and make one of his own. I'm sure this won't be the last time. Do yourself a favor and check his site out.

10 things you need to know about me

Seeing as how this is my first post, I should spit out a few things that I think you should know.

10. I vote Republican.
9. My current job is in Search Engine Marketing.
8. My favorite alcohol is Crown Royal.
7. I was in the Military.
6. I'm a HUGE Chicago Cubs fan.
5. I'm a smartass
4. I enjoy money, even though it is rare I have any (thank god this blog is free!).
3. I have my MBA and two undergraduate degrees (Communications and Economics).
2. I'm honest, even if that means telling you that your gut isn't made for baby doll shirts.
1. I'm a HUGE Carolina fan (The REAL Carolina, not the Southern ripoff).

So, now that you know me, I'm sure I'll be flooded with proposals of marriage (sorry prisoner #47225-P, I already have a girlfriend) and all items on my wish list will be purchased. I don't know how often I'll update this blog, but hopefully when I do it will be some worthy material.